To My Parents

I just want to take few minutes to express my thanks to my parents for the examples they have knowingly and unknowingly set for me. They have both taught me to love God, my fellow man, my wife, my child(ren), and most importantly right now they have taught me to forgive.

22 years ago my brother Eric died.  My parents chose to not sue the Air Force.  Through this choice and many others my parents have taught me to not blame others and stop pointing the finger to shift focus from me.  Though I didn't know it, this was the beginning of my training to be an effective couple's therapist.  Blaming another person for their faults does not fix what was wrong.  Blaming the Air Force for what happened with my brother would not bring him back.  It would not keep his name revered or honor him.

Instead of blame and resentment, my parents have raised me to take this aspect of my life that was--and still is--painful and make it into my motivation to help others.   Through my brother's death I have been able to reach people in the depths of despair, people that are lost in their own grief and even hopelessness.  Having experienced that myself I have been able to reach people and let them know that they are not alone.  Even more I have been able to tell people that while I know they don't see a light at the end of the tunnel--I can see one.

Thank you Mom for choosing to let my brother's death be good.  Let it be positive.  It's the only way to deal it.  Otherwise it just kills you.  (And it comes pretty damn close even when it is positive)