A new letter to my daddy

Hi Dad,

I've really enjoyed the way Kim writes letters to you, so I'm going to do the same.

I miss you.

Molly and I had a boy! We named him after you, Alexander Karl Hunt. I like to think that you two spend some quality time together before he was born. He has really great hair, for some reason it constantly reminds me of you.

I worry a lot about being a good dad to him. Sometimes I think I'm really more cut out to be a dad to Charlotte. She loves dance and gymnastics. What am I going to do if Alexander doesn't like any of the things I do? What if I'm not the dad he wanted? Then I think of what it might have been like for you to be my dad. I was a cheerleader and became a therapist--two things are not really in your area of expertise--and yet you still supported me and talked to me about who things were going. I can do that with my kids--even if I'm not interested in their activities I am interested in them. That is something I learned from you.

I'm teaching Sunday School (Gospel Doctrine) these days, I think you'd be proud of me. Wish I could throw around some of the ideas and questions I have about chapters as I prepare to teach. Teaching Sunday School has been really good for me. I have a really spiritual experience every time I teach, I'm not sure other people have the same experience but it's really meaningful.  Somehow, I find myself preaching every week abut the importance of agency in choosing to follow Christ and how integral this choice is to our faith.

I think a lot about the last time we spent time together. I'm really glad Molly and I came down to get sealed in Gilbert, I'm really glad I got to see you. I wish I had taken the time to talk to you more. I didn't know that would be my last chance--and I was not ready for that to be the end.

I'm not mad at you for not wanting more treatment or wanting to do dialysis. I'm not mad at you for being excited to see your mother and Eric again; I think this is really part of my internalization of how much I respect the agency people (you and I) have.

I am mad at the doctors that wouldn't let you go snuba diving after you retired, I think you deserved to be excited for life.

I worry about Mom sometimes. She is entirely capable and I am convinced she is the strongest woman in the world. I worry about her because you were a great source of strength and stability for her. I know Molly does a great deal to calm me and keep me centered (most of the time).

You'd be really proud of Todd. He's been really kind and supportive to Mom. You did a good job raising him.

Molly and I were talking about the things we liked most about living in Minnesota. We both do really enjoy living close to family but we both also said we both love the Ward we go to church in. It's been a really long time since I felt at home in a ward; I do here. I feel comfortable.

I love you Dad. I wish time had happened differently--I think we would have done some incredible things together if our lives had overlapped a little bit more. (Remember that time you found the tiny two-inch piece I was looking for in the junk yard in Utah for hours. You found it on the ground within seconds of walking into the correct row of the junkyard) Maybe in the eternities we'll have time to work together--I hope we do.

I'm not the best dad, nor the best husband. Nor am I really a great Mormon. However, you gave me a pretty good example of how; I hope I can be more like you.

Love,

Q-Man